DC Universe Online, off Mark Clayton's radar

Can Mark Clayton be honest here? Of course I can, I'm on the list of the NFL's top 50 in receiving yards. So I watched this video for DC Universe Online and was thoroughly unimpressed. I guess it's always been a dream of some comic nerds to play virtual dress-up with their superheroes a la World of Warcraft. The developers solve the issue of "I wanna be Batman x 5,000,000" by not letting anyone of those idiots be Batman. So, you create your own character for a world populated by the characters you'd rather be, but can't. That's like wanting to be Dan Marino and throw 18 TD passes to Mark Clayton in a single season, but having to play as Damon Huard (or Ray Lucas) instead. This is basically City of Heroes and that other game like it, City of Heroes 2, but with more destructable environments. That's just not good enough.

The worst part about this has to be the ridiculous herky-jerky animation of every character featured in the video. They move more awkwardly than Dan Marino on a quartback sneak. Not helping this any is the stupidly cartoonish depictions of DC's heroes and villains. See, they're already comic books, in a sense cartoonish. The transition to video game form shouldn't result in stupidly cartoonish.

Stupidly cartoonish.

Mark Clayton should be done with this right now - and in a way he is - but there's still the issue of the game's graphics that needs to be addressed. Mark Clayton thinks the graphics are jaw-droppingly gorgeous in its detail-- for the Original Xbox.

Batman: Glad to not be played by You.

We can already see where this game is heading. Mark Clayton thinks it best to just run out the clock and wait until next season.

Preview Review Rating: 1 can of tuna